PAX Centurion - November / December 2013

www.bppa.org PAX CENTURION • November/December 2013 • Page 27 Hope for a better year By Mark A. Bruno L ooking back on the past year I can honestly say it has probably been one of the worst in recent memory. It started with the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting eleven days before Christmas in 2012 and went right up to the recent loss of fellow Officer Pat Rogers. It is hard to fathom how such tragedies can happen. With the Boston Marathon in the middle of all this I would say this is a year I would like to put behind me. As police officers we are expected to have a hard exterior and to weather the storm when all goes wrong. The truth is even police officers have limitations and breaking points. We always put up a good front but some of us are hurting inside. We don’t show our emotions or wear our hearts out on our sleeves. We get through whatever we Bataan Death March when she suffered a nervous breakdown. Not too long after this breakdown she took her own life. She left a note behind and part of it read, “Each breath is becoming difficult for me to take, the anxiety can be compared to drowning in an open sea. I know that my actions will transfer some of this pain to others, indeed to those who love me have to without saying a word. The truth is we should be talking to someone and reaching out for help but unfortunately pride gets in the way. Some of us may fear losing our weapons and our ability to earn a living. We feel our only option is to deal with the problems ourselves. It is a dark place in which these officers find themselves in. We do have one of the best stress units in the country and should not fear talking to any one of them. As is so often the case we find this unit activated in the aftermath of tragedy. If only we could see this silent killer before it happens we would be better served by it. In a past article I talked about the author of The Rape of Nanking. I was so impressed by the author Iris Chang that I decided to look up her history. She was very young when she wrote about the atrocities that were committed by the Japanese on her Grandmother and the village in China she (her Grandmother) had grown up in. She absorbed the work and felt the pain of those she interviewed. This book became a best seller and placed her squarely in the limelight. She became vocal in demanding that Japan offer up an apology for the crimes they committed. She was working on a book about the the most. Please forgive me. Forgive me because I cannot forgive myself.” I cited this last paragraph because I believe it captured the pain and anguish this person was going through. She found herself in the abyss of despair and felt she had no other way out than that which she chose. It can get this bad for some of us dealing with the pressures of the job in what we see day in and out, and also in what we are dealing with at home. We feel there is no one to talk it out with, and we are too proud to ask for help. We really need to think about how we deal with depression. Maybe we can stress this to our new recruits while they are in the academy. A somber ceremony such as a walk by is something we would all like to attend less. Our hearts, thoughts and prayers go out to the family of Pat Rogers, especially his loving sister Kelly. The walk by and funeral ceremony was a nice show of support by all that attended. I’m sure the Rogers Family felt the love by all who knew Pat. In the end this family will be left to grieve their loss. Over time the pain will subside but the hurt in their hearts will always remain. May our fellow Officer, Pat Rogers, rest in peace.