PAX Centurion - January / February 2014

www.bppa.org PAX CENTURION • January/February 2014 • Page 33 D uring snow storms, I like to get out in front of the plows and go slow – just to see how they like it! Even though I carry a gun when I walk my dog at night, I still freak out when he spins around and growls into the woods. I don’t think I’ve flushed a public toilet using my hand in years. A solicitation from the local food pantry claimed “$1=8 meals.”I want to know where they’re shopping! The United States Post Office is the latest Government Agency to stock up on small arms ammunition. GO POSTAL! I was inspired by the PSA’s to make a donation at Christmas to OXFAM, but gave up after I couldn’t gift wrap the %^^$#@* goat. If you throw a rock at a car you could be charged with willful and malicious destruction of property, but if the plow hits you with that 00 buck rock salt it’s ok. After a plane crash in Afghanistan, the Taliban took to social me- dia to claim credit. What do they have like a Facebook Page or Twit- ter Account? Follow the Taliban at @diegreatsatan #wehateamerica. The Massachusetts Legislature is considering toughening the states’ already Draconian Gun Laws. In typical Liberal fashion, the solons welcomed input from victims, criminologists, law enforce- ment, just about anyone EXCEPT lawful gun owners. Speaking of those crazy libs and their wacky ideas, smoking is now banned in all Boston public parks. The City Council snuck this one in during the dead of winter, when the weather’s so cold – no one’s out anyway. Wait until spring when golfers will face a $250 fine for puffing while putting. I heard a rumor that the Globe editorial page asked to be consid- ered as Police Commissioner of Boston. After a vandal spray painted racially charged graffiti on the home of a bi-racial football player, the town of Lunenburg cancelled the remaining games, and launched a full scale investigation. Concerned citizens held candlelight vigils, and vowed the tagger would be caught. Closer scrutiny from Law Enforcement determined the perp was none other than the boy’s own mother! Someone send this dope to a parenting class if this is the best she can come up with to get her kid out of football. Disgraced Rep. Carlos Henriques was booted from the Mass. Legislature, after being convicted of assaulting his girlfriend. He had forced a vote, after refusing to resign, claiming he could continue to serve his constituents from behind bars. The local branch of the NAACP supported Henriques – urging lawmakers to allow him to remain a rep. Now I ask you gentle reader, is the Mainstream media shouting that the NAACP is declaring a war on women? This guy was CONVICTED! Oh, that’s right he has a “D” after his name. If he was a Republican who slapped his gal around and the Tea Party supported him, it would surely be national news. Someone (terrorists?) fired over 100 rounds in about 19 minutes at an electrical susbstation in California, just a day after terror- ists bombed the Boston Marathon. The transformers were heavily damaged, but because of low demand, no blackouts occurred. The incident was hushed up while authorities investigated, but to date no suspects have been named or arrested. Attorney General Eric Holder’s DOJ has decided to seek the Death Penalty in the case of Boston Marathon bomber Dzokhar Tsarnaev. Local libs are appalled that an execution could take place. Doing less with more or something like that By P.O. Jay Moccia Let’s see how long it takes – Right Wing nut Timothy McVeigh was put down within six years – I hope we’re not looking at THIS piece of ungrateful garbage on his 30 th birthday. Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead of a drug overdose in his NewYork apartment. Authorities also discovered over 70 bags of heroin. The actor had struggled with addiction, but had been sober in recent years. Hmmm – 70 bags? That’s like falling off the wagon at a bar and ordering a keg (too soon?)! Also in NYC, new mayor Bill DiBlasio officiated at that town’s version of Groundhog Day. The mayor managed to drop the forecast- ing rodent, who suffered no ill effects. Good thing Bill’s a flaming liberal – if a Conservative dropped that rat, PETA, SPCA and Sara McLachlan would have been all over him like a fur coat. In a shocking ruling by ICE, the President’s uncle – Onyango Obama will be allowed to remain in the United States, despite be- ing ordered to be deported several times since overstaying his visa. Uncle Omar’s famous nephew claimed no consideration was given, even though he couch surfed at Omar’s place. You may remember he denied even knowing the guy after Omar’s OUI arrest. How shameful is it that we know more about four closed lanes of traffic in New Jersey, than four abandonedAmericans killed in Benghazi? My Mercedes features a weather band on the radio. It’s convenient when planning for a trip or detail. The only drawback is the metal- lic sing-song automated computer voice – it’s like getting a weather report from Stephen Hawking. I would find it much easier to tolerate people walking in the street in the winter if they weren’t the same people who walk in the street during the summer. Just a word on GPS – coming soon to a cruiser near you…The BPD News website, as well as the BPPA website were hacked and knocked down by a couple of Occupy geeks in a tent with a MacBook. I’ll never forget that ridiculous embarrassing video – no, not theirs, the one we put up when we regained control of our pages. I never thought I’d miss “the Bringer”. I’ve been watching theWinter Olympics from Sochi, and began to wonder, what do the color guys/gals do in the lass than prime time sports between games. Do they bartend or work in an office? Also from Sochi, a reporter did a story on Siberia. I couldn’t help but notice almost everyone was wearing a fur coat. Guess PETA’s commitment only goes so far. If you see someone on the street, and you think you recognize them from the Internet, it’s probably a good idea to not ask, especially if you surf porn. Just sayin’ We’re now operating under a new contract. The City Council voted to approve/fund it, and now it remains to be seen, will our rela- tionship with new Mayor MartyWalsh be as contentious as we’ve had in the past with City Hall. We’ll soon find out, this pact will expire in a year and we’ll be back to the table sooner than you think. Here’s to hoping we can bargain a contract that’s fair to both sides. Also, congrats to new Commissioner Billy Evans! Again, let’s see how long the honeymoon lasts. We should work together to resolve any issues, and restore pride and morale in the ranks. With that said, stay safe, and let me know when the retro’s in…