PAX Centurion - April / June 2016

Page 54 • PAX CENTURION • April-May-June 2016 617-989-BPPA (2772) Plan B By P.O. Jay Moccia I won’t say we get knee jerk assignments, but after terrorist att acks in Brussels, cops were ordered on Code 19’s at local IHOP’s because they serve BelgianWaffles. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H We’re being told to do more with less, but you can’t do anything with nothing…#yaordered H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there is NOTHING in sports that can match Playoff Hockey…NOTHING!!! H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Memo to the Public Health Commission: there is no such thing as a “bad batch” of heroin. It’s kinda all bad. And like cigarettes, everyone already knows it. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Only the cops went without food/water during the “Walk for Hunger.” H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H A student from the University of Virginia OttoWarmbier, was arrested and sentenced to 15 years hard labor after he took down a political banner in North Korea during a trip there on Spring Break. The 21 year old from Ohio’s pleas for mercy fell on deaf ears, saying it was a stupid mistake. Hey kid, why didn’t you just go to Lauderdale for Spring Break like everyone else? There’s no such thing as “Girls Gone Wild Pyongyang.” H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Movie Pet Peeves: Cops get shot or hurt in a fight, patched up in an ambulance, then back to the street, when characters go outside in the south during the summer, they are never set upon by swarms of insects. Patrons at a bar simply order Beer, Wine, or Whiskey, and traffic only occurs as a plot device. And there’s never any fat or ugly people at the beach/pool/lake unless the homicidal murderer needs a non-sexual victim or the main characters have to make fun of someone. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Watching the Frozen Four got me to wondering why the “Fighting Sioux” is offensive, but the “Fighting Irish” is not? H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure getting anxiety fueled chest pains on your ride into work ain’t good… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H When people use the phrase “living the dream” I remind them that a nightmare is a dream TOO! H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Is it just me or does anyone else feel like Shrek when they use those green foam earplugs on a construction detail? File under: go ahead and laugh, I can’t hear you anyway… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Whenever I hear the Command Staff say “that won’t happen here” whenever we ask for some equipment, I always want to scream “again”… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H While at City Hall recently, I had the pleasure of using the new any gender bathroom, but wasn’t sure if I should stand up or sit down. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H On Marathon Monday, as I drive in I yell taunts or encouragements to the everyday joggers. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Bernie Sanders is Ron Paul for Democrats. #thirdpartycandidate #feelthebern-outs H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Swedish Researchers have found a cure for sex addiction…wait for it…wait for it… a Hillary Clinton/ElizabethWarren Presidential ticket…you thought I was going to say marriage didn’t you. Even I’m not that stupid. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Speaking of marriage, being married is like being theWashington Generals, (that’s the team that has to play the Harlem Globetrotters every night-if you didn’t know).You know you’ll never win, but you’ve got to pretend you’re trying to. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H I was in a Starbucks recently, and the guy in front of me ordered a “decaf espresso.” Some people will NEVER get it. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H MEMO TO HQ: Since you allow citizens to register complaints against Police Officers on line, why not let them fill out their own simple reports on line as well (lost property, cell phones, minor accidents, shoplifting under, etc. (under the pains and penalties of perjury, of course). Simply use a form with required fill in the blank fields, and hit submit.You’d free up plenty of cops to do other Police functions, like Code 19’s, traffic enforcement, the possibilities are endless. (thanks Sgt. Ed) H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Hillary Clinton accused Republican Governors of enforcing modern day “Jim Crow” laws in order to keep minority voters away from the polls. Hmmm, “Jim Crow” laws were established by DEMOCRATS to keep minorities down, and the only folks who bogged down polling were the New Black Panther Party and her husband Slick Willie, neither of whom will EVER be confused with a Republican. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Citizens all over Boston are complaining about needles left in and around parks and playgrounds. Now I ask you, gentle reader, are we (cops, EMT’s and other first responders) shocked or surprised by this? The Public Health Commission bureaucrats and politicians who enable these addicts should be forced to perform the clean up. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H With Donald Trump securing the Republican Presidential nomination amid much controversy, it looks like political junkies are in for a treat, regardless of who comes out of the Democratic Primaries. Bernie Sanders,is like a drunk uncle at the cookout just won’t quit, and he’s forcing Hillary to fight a two front war. She on the other hand (IMHO as despicable a person that ever lived) continues to act as though she’s already won both the primary AND the presidency. I can’t wait for these debates; any takers on the “strong” woman shedding a tear while under attack and crying foul? If you can’t stand the heat… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H On a recent flight from Boston to Seattle, Maggie McMuffin, a burlesque performer, was told she could not board the Jet Blue plane because she was dressed inappropriately in short shorts and thigh high socks. She was compelled to cover up, or not get on. The pictures are easy to find online-you be the judge, but I’ll bet the gate agents wouldn’t sayAWORD if she was wearing a burkha… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Showing that the tail does wag the dog in modern America, laws have been passed allowing about 1/100 th of 1% of our population who are transgendered to use whichever bathroom they’d like depending on how they’re identifying when the urge strikes. Now I’m not saying anything bad about people who are transgendered, but is this a priority we need to worry about? Opponents have argued that this opens the door to allow perverts (I’m NOT referring to the T/G folks here) access to what used to be exclusive gender specific areas,