PAX Centurion - Fall 2017

Page 54 • PAX CENTURION • Fall 2017 617-989-BPPA (2772) No days off… A friend said they’d like to see me in action, I told them OK, but it’s all one word… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Hillary Clinton declared she will not be a candidate for President (Thank God!) in 2020 but mentioned she’d love to be a preacher. Hmmm...Baptist, Protestant or her own church of Lie- Entology? H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Whacko NYC Mayor de Blasio (de Blasio is Italian for idiot, by the way) wants to remove a statue of Christopher Columbus. I’m surprised! Columbus should be a hero to the liberals, he was, after all, the first illegal alien inAmerica…(more on both subjects later) H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H As a cop I’m forced to wear so many hats you’ll have to forgive me if I occasionally misplace my 8 pointer… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Hollywood hypocrite hunk (of crap) George Clooney has abandoned his European homes and scampered back to the good old US of A. George ranted and raved that his adopted home wasn’t doing enough to help refugees from the Middle East. The open borders cheerleader got his wish, but you know what they say…”be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!” When a camp was set up near his Lake Como villa housing over 500 Muslims, Clooney bounced, citing “security concerns”. First he took his family to Merry Ole England, but when the Religion of Peace conducted several more terror attacks there, the Trump hating actor resettled his wife and kids at his mansion in LA, which features A GREAT BIGWALL! Hey NIMBY boy who’s the “xenophopic fascist” now?? File under: We know why Oscars are yellow… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H The crazy food Nazis in San Francisco have taken Chocolate Milk off the menu at all school cafeterias, much to the dismay of brown cows everywhere-that IS where chocolate milk comes from… Right??. All kidding aside this experiment has already proved to be a failure in LA, where milk consumption went down and waste (throwing away regular milk) went up. #dontcryoverspiltmilk H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H AMichigan woman, Glenna Duram, was found guilty of murdering her husband, Martin. The star witness was a grey parrot who repeated “Don’t Shoot Me” in the deceased’s voice. I still think the Three Stooges did it better. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H The Conservation Law Foundation, a Boston environmental group is pressuring Massport to impose a surcharge on drivers dropping off and picking up people at Logan Airport. Sorry tree huggers, the Government beat you to it; it’s called the tunnel tolls. Hey CLF, want to impress me? Go after the smoke belching yellow menace of school busses that ruin my commute, and cause WAY MORE traffic and congestion than airport commuters, or else just shut up and sit in the traffic like the rest of us… H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Actress Ashley Judd was triggered after a TSA Employee paid her a compliment and referred to her as “sweetheart”. Judd, a self proclaimed “nasty woman” raged on social media about “everyday sexism”, and demanded the guy be fired…IMAGINETHAT – how tolerant! ANDTHEN he said “have a good day sweetheart” after she passed through the checkpoint. She’s right! This guy should be fired, who ever heard of a polite, cheery, TSA agent?? Author’s note: I’m glad Ms Judd is speaking out against this topic. Men everywhere should sing her praises, because we too, are victims of everyday sexism. I mean really, how many times across this great nation is a man or young boy chastised by a Nasty Woman for leaving the seat up? H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H A San Diego State sociology professor offered her students extra credit for listing examples of their “white privilege”. PSST kids! Answer #1 is: “I’m getting extra credit!!”WOW! And what criteria is used to offer the other pupils extra credit? H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Although it may be morbid, I’ll sometimes laugh at the phrase “untimely death”. Um it wasn’t untimely, it was “your time”. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Not gonna lie, when driving in the city, I LOVE my horn… #beepbeep H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Liberals everywhere are blaming President Trump for Hurricanes, with Global Warming as a close second. Harvey and Irma cut a swath of destruction across the Caribbean and US leaving scores dead, thousands displaced, and many more lacking in basic necessities. And of course we humans fell mainly into two categories: the helpful and the help myself-ful. The helpful rescued neighbors, and/or their pets, strangers, anyone that was in danger, or just needed assistance. The help myself-ful rescued neighbor’s property, sneakers, flat screen TV’s, and anything of value not nailed down. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H Speaking of the wild weather, and natural disasters, the unhinged left blames the deadly storms on Trump’s election.Yup real wrath of God stuff-wait, sorry, they hate God (but they sure do love that Allah!) so it must be Global Warming…as they fly around in private jets lecturing us. But Global Warming doesn’t cause earthquakes. Thankfully they forgot Republicans still have the Halliburton Hurricane Machine…Next stop…Hollywood. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H The snowflakes also blew more hot air than a Category 4 after First Lady Melania Trump wore…GASP…stiletto heels while embarking on Air Force One to head to Texas after Hurricane Harvey. She changed into more casual sneakers later but the damage was done. The mainstream media hasn’t been this obsessed withWhite House apparel since the little blue stained dress. Pundits lambasted her and the daily talk shows fumed. Forget that people were killed, and thousands more were evacuated…SHEWORE HIGH HEELS! Frankly if some of those beasts from the View wore heels in Texas, they’d be striking oil. I don’t see the problem, as a one-time super model, heels must be like comfy slippers to her. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H How funny would it be if Urologists and Proctologists had to advertise using those foam fingers? H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H It’s no secret we are stretched thin at the district level. Staffing By P.O. Jay Moccia